The Cutest Femme Fatale We Know

It's no secret that we here at Soldout have a special love-mock relationship with Britney Spears. We love  for its vapidity--or surprising lack thereof--and laugh at the popstar for the same reason. Femme Fatale? Over-produced jams with ridiculous lyrics. Love. Her fear of flying but desire to be a bird? Priceless. Mock...and also love.

Personally, I've come to think that the woman has lost interest in her pop star career and wants to retire, but she knows her retirement wouldn't be a James Murphy-esque step out of the spotlight into another one, but a true decision to stay home with the kids and the new boyfriend watching Dora the Explorer and giggling. And she's not quite ready to admit that and knows that even if her career has spanned almost 20 years, she's still barely 30. And maybe the latest video is her unwillingness to admit that, judging from her Hello Kitty colored hair extensions and Ke$ha-esque irreverence. 

However, within the video are so many delightful self-deprecating references that I think she's actually grown up a lot. Unless she's a better actress than I know...and that marquee for Cross Roads 2: Cross Harder is NOT a joke: 

(Thanks to  Edith Zimmerman at The Hairpin for pointing that out--Easter Egg indeed!)

So...without counting all of the best moments, here are my faves. Add your own in the comments pls!

First, props to the director, Chris Marrs Piliero, who rightly added himself to the beginning of the vid. Take credit! Oh and BTWS this dude directed the video Ke$ha's Blow. The one where she frenches unicorns. WIN. ...come to think of it the 2 songs are fairly similar...onward!

Second, the shoes. And, oh is that a torn Mickey Mouse shirt? Wait... is this...is Britney makign fun of herself?

With all the ridiculous questions at this press conference... I think she is! And then the Half Baked quote said directly to Guillermo Diaz in his Scarface costume (!) Yes, that's Britbrit saying the F word, a big step from "If You Seek Amy," no? (Say it aloud...you got it.)

The hair and outfit (beyond the shoes, the shoes are Gaga and I approve of that) she's kinda... Avril-Ke$ha chic? With Dirty-era Christina dark-under-blonde hair?  Somehow the girl pulls it off. Personally I think catsuits or Mad Men when I think Femme Fatale but...aight. 

And then, after a quick shoe (shoes at 2:21) +outfit change, we get a song ostensibly about what she's imagining and what she really wants to do. Oh, please please show us these things, Mr. Piliero!

And then, then...she give me a knowing look! Yes, Britney! I knowwww! I am winking back! I have used that look in burlesque routines and I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! WE ARE BFFS NOW! 

Backflip! Which is genuinely what I'd do if she squeezed my butt, too. Dang. 

(*is she wearing a skirt or pants...oh wait I don't care.)

And then she flashes people...which you know IS what she secretly wants to do. If Britney could retire from pop stardom and become a burlesque dancer I think she'd be pretty happy. And have more fun than Xtina did.

she being a sassy badass and flirting then destroying terminator-paparazzi! I love how she's grown from whining in "Piece of Me" to kicking ass.

And later, a got-milk reference and a dude showing how ridiculous it is that somehow pouring milk/liquid on yourself is when trying to look sexy.

Mmmm sexayyyyyThat's hot...I think?

And the seashells? Perhaps a nod to the "need a vacation" bit of Hold it Against Me...? Someone on youtube said it was another Britney video but I can't find that comment because it was back when there were 336 views of the video and now it's up to 209,894 and the comments are back to normal (i.e., Britney versus every other popstar war). 

The point is: I love it. It's everything I want in a pop song video and more. Every video for this album has delivered, in fact. And fuckit, Femme Fatale, with its insipid lyrics about the end of the world, is probably still the most upbeat and most mature (!) album she's ever done. Love>Mock. for now.