Toast. For the Douchebags.

On Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West did what it is that I love him to do: cut through the bullshit and brought the Art, with a capital "A", in the form of a new jam he's calling "Runaway". 

"Runaway" is Kanye's self-lacerating "toast to the douchebags", those who can't watch their mouths in public or behave properly. It's also the most catchy of Kanye's new crop of self-leaked songs thus far. 

In fact, it's such an absolute brain-leech that I'm thinking of opening a breakfast place in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, called "Toast for the Douchebags" complete with drinks for each of Kanye's called-out variations: douchebags, assholes, scumbags, and jerkoffs.

"Runaway" Cocktails (courtesy Suzan Eraslan )

Douchebags: Something in a cocktail glass. Vodka, whatever the trendy liqueur of the moment is (so, in this case, St. Germain), and topped off with a splash of champagne.

Assholes: Toast to the assholes...that's got to be a bloody mary, but instead of horseradish, it has wasabi and instead of worstershire, it has a splash of shoyu, and it's made with soju instead of vodka.

Scumbags:  Jim Beam, lemonade, sweet tea vodka, and Brooklyn pilsner.  

Jerkoffs: gin, simple syrup, grapefruit juice, dry vermouth, and a twist."Jerkoff"? Because if you drink too many of those, you are DEFINITELY not going to be in a state to fuck anyone.

So raise a glass to Kanye, the Dave Eggers of hip hop, running shit again with "Runaway"...seriously on track to be one of THE songs of 2010.  What was your take on "Runaway"? And, more importantly, do you self-identify as bag douche or scum, asshole or jerkoff? 

Update on Sep 14, 2010 by Marley

Wait... are we listening to the same song?  I could see how Runaway may be the most sing-able, or the least challenging, of Kanye's most recentself-leaked songs.  But the most catchy?  More than Power or Monster?  Catchy like Drake is catchy--all chorus no verse.   Actually the only part of the song that's still floating around my head is the word "douchebag" and it's not my favorite word...maybe that's why it stuck.

I see the song as a partner to "Golddigger."  While that song is women manipulating men for money ("She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years") "Run Away" is about wealthy men manipulating women and justifying their (douchebag/asshole/scumbag/jerkoff) behavior by saying that women should know it comes with the territory: "Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet/ Comes with a price tag, baby, face it/You should leave if you can't accept the basics/Plenty bitches in the baller-player's matrix"

Kanye talks about finding his flaws, suggesting that women stay away, or run away, but reminding them what they'd miss: "Split and go where? Back to wearin' knockoffs, huh?"

It's another song about how women are greedy and men are dicks. *yawn*

Sure, the melody's nice.  Does that count for controversial now?  Or interesting?

At least if this were Drake's song he'd feel bad about being a rich douchebag. 

(There's a Drake-is-Jewish joke in here but I'm going to let you find it.)